a nun, a rabbi and a bear walk into a bar. the bartender says:
"what, is this some kind of a joke??"
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the batender says: "why the long face?"
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two atoms walk into a bar |
one of them says:
"damn - i think i've lost an electron!"
the other atom asks "are you sure?"
"yeah, I'm positive" |
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a neutron walks into a bar |
sits down, and asks for a beer.
finishing his drink, the neutron asks, "how much?".
the bartender replies, "for you, no charge." |
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a chicken walks into a bar |
the bartender says "we don't serve poultry."
the chicken replies "that's OK I just want a drink." |
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a bear walks into a bar and asks for a drink, |
the bartender says, "I'm sorry mate, but we don't serve bears."
the bear again demands a drink, crying discrimination and threatening
an equal opportunity claim, but the bartender keeps refusing.
finally, the bear, glancing over at a woman sitting on a stool near
him, says, "either give me a drink, or I'll bite this bar into pieces."
the bartender still refuses, so the bear leans over and bites a big piece out of the bar.
"now, get me a drink, or I'll trash the rest of the place!."
the bartender says, "sorry, mate, it's not up to me. bar policy - we don't serve bears and. we don't serve drug users."
the bear looks stunned and says, "I haven't taken any drug!."
the bartender replies, "soryy, but that was a barbiturate." |
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a penguin walks into a bar |
he goes to the counter and asks the barman
"Have you seen my brother?".
the barman thinks for a moment and says
"maybe, what does he look like?" |
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and slips over on a pile of poo.
minutes later a huge, hairy bikie walks in and slips over on the same pile of poo.
the first guy says to the bikie,
"hey, I just did that".
so the bikie king hits him.
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a man walks into a bar and orders a beer, |
he looks around, admiring the room and he soon notices that there are
big lumps of meat hanging on the ceiling. He then says to the
bartender, "why have you got all this meat hanging around?
the barman says, "it's a little bet that we're running. if you can jump
up and grab a bit of meat in your mouth then you can have all of your
drinks on the house. if you fail then you have to shout everyone else
in the bar. are you going to have a go?
the man shakes his head and says to the bartender,
"no way, the stakes are too high." |
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a hippopotamus walks into a bar |
and asks the bartender for a beer.
"that'll be $7.50 please" says the bartender.
so the hippo gives the bartender his money and starts to sip his beer.
"you know we don't very many hippos in here" mutters the bartender.
the hippo replies, "at these prices it's no wonder!" |
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and the bartender says to the man, "hey man, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
the guy replies "yeah I know. it's driving me nuts!" |
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a man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm |
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and says: "a beer please, and one for the road". |
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and says "bartender, may I have a drink?"
bartender says "what? I can't hear you. speak up!"
"may I please have a drink?"
"what? you have to speak up!"
"could I please have a drink?"
"now listen, if you don't speak up I wont serve you."
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse. |
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where is my search??
bar jokes