baby wayne

Bridie asks:

otis, o god of small things - o purveyor of small but not insignificant wisdoms. i wonder, in light of recent awb scandal should i refuse to feed my family durum-derived pasta and should i boycott school-lunch sandwiches? (estimates suggest withdrawl of sandwiches alone would impact wheat industry with loss of annual sales totalling minimum $728. estimates based on purchase of min 208 loaves per annum @ average $3.50 per loaf.)

love from,
bridie

otis says:

wheat? sandwiches? pasta? what are these strange things of which you speak? from what I can gather they appear to form part of an odd assortment of mysterious things called food. I have been offered everything from peaches and apples to avocado and sweet potato, but these have not been to my liking. maybe one day I will consider some of these wheat-based products.

my parents seem to think that I should be eating food and have taken me to see a developmental pediatrician, had a feeding consultant visit and apparently I have to endure the examinations of a speech pathologist before going to a day-patient programme for recalcitrant babies.

everyone says that there is nothing wrong with me – I am happily putting on weight – but I just don’t want to have anything in my mouth.

this continues to be a bit stressful for my parents - my mum has to be around me every three hours or so to feed me - which means that she can't go and do things that she might want to do.

nevertheless, it is very impressive that you have gone to the trouble of calculating your annual bread-based wheat consumption. Imagine what could happen if you included other wheaten products such as croissants, cake, biscuits and so on?

Of course, in considering a consumer boycott I think there are two factors to consider.

1. if there was not a regime of sanctions designed to starve the Iraqi people then perhaps the need for bribery would not have existed.
2. the fact that the awb executives posed for photos toting guns whilst topless should be sufficient to excuse any allegation of impropriety

by and large I am not sure that the types of men who pose naked with firearms are going to be concerned about a reduction of sandwich consumption

dude, where's my sandwich?