baby wayne

asha asks:

dear otis,

i am trying to book a stretch limo for my year 12 formal - i know it's early but apparently you have to get in quick - so i just wanted to ask if you are still able to make it? also, in terms of the corsage, i am wearing blue, so you might wanna try something with a spray of white flowers.

love from,
asha dacy

otis says:

In the first instance I am unsure if this is really a question. Surely, it would be more appropriate to advise me of the hue of your gown after I had confirmed my availability.

I understand that a year 12 formal can be a very sensitive time in a young girl’s life and that the absence of a date or, worse still, a blind date that ends in tragedy can cause gaping psychological trauma from which there might be no recovery.

Bearing this in mind, and the pressure you are likely to feel from your mother until you have organised a date, I will happily accompany you to your year 12 formal. You will need to confirm this 72 hours prior to the commencement of the formal.

I anticipate that I may have commenced eating some solid food by this time, but would appreciate it if you could keep some room in your handbag for a teething rusk, some rice cereal, a tub of stewed apple and a bib.

Let’s party the night away

otis and asha discuss a date

asha demonstrates corsage attachment

move over asha - i will be ready at least 72 hours before otis is ready for his formal - that will be in exactly, well approximately 9 467 077.79 minutes. i will be wearing a puce, stammel or taupe dress, so your corsage should be appropriately hued. if i have lost my virginity by then, i may even wear a Solferino pants-suit. who knows.

by the way, i will be 58. i hope that's not a problem.
xxxxx